In Defense of the Resolutioners

With it being December 31st and all, everyone’s talking about New Year’s Resolutions. I see more people making fun of resolutions than actually making resolutions. Resolution shaming, if you will.

I’m not here to defend NY resolutions because they’re stupid. In fact, I tweeted last night that “Stop being friends with people who make New Year’s resolutions’ should be my New Year’s resolution.” I’m going to defend the resolutioners – the people making the resolutions.

The resolutioners are filled with positivity and eagerness for the new year. They think it’s going to be their time – that something is actually going to change when the clock strikes midnight. And, you know, maybe we should allow them to have that hope. They’re happy. Let them be. Resolutioners are good hearted people.

The resolution shamers are the realists. I mean yeah, we’re negative, but we aren’t operating under a fantasy. We’ve accepted that we’re horrible people, and that’s why we’re 1. Not going to try to change and 2. Make fun of those who are trying to change. Why are we tearing down people who are just trying to better themselves? We’re mean. That’s why.

But being a horrible person is fun. The resolution shamers aren’t going to spend the early weeks of 2016 realizing that we are in horrible physical shape, emotionally dependent on simple carbs,  in love with social media, and/or heavily dependent on methamphetamine. (Is quitting meth a typical resolution? I don’t know how this works.) We’re going to continue with our lives because we like living that way. That’s the easier way, as well as the more enjoyable way.

I’m defending resolutioners because they seem cute and benevolent, but I don’t really understand them. I change whenever I want, not when a new year begins. I cut 10 inches of my hair in October just because. I was a vegetarian for four years, then I just kinda started eating meat again. I changed my mind about what career path I want to embark on more than once. I got in better shape when I joined cross country my freshman year of high school, but honestly, I don’t know why I joined. It just kind of happened. I started wearing lipstick recently because I decided that I like the way it looks.

If you come across resolutioners, be nice to them. They’re full of positivity and sunshine and rainbows and might not be ready for the dreariness of the real world they way us resolution shamers are.

 

 

 

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